BITZFeed: A Brief List of Irresolute Resolutions

Tired of making resolutions that don’t last beyond January 2nd? Frustrated with your unrealistic and unattainable goals? Have no fear. BITZFeed is here, with an all-new list of everlasting resolutions. We are here to help you make resolutions that are within your reach. You won’t have to move an inch beyond your comfort zone. Pakka promise. BITZFeed proudly presents 8 New Year’s resolutions you won’t break:

1) Check your phone every two minutes during lectures (if you attend any) and zone out.

2) Watch at least two shows every semester. And binge a few after midsem and compre.

3) Set three alarms. Snooze at least twice and never reach class on time.

4) Never sleep before 2 am. On weekdays we mean. Why would you sleep on a weekend?

5) Don’t let anyone force you to clean your room. It’s not messy. It’s creatively organized.

6) Freak out internally, but laugh at your friends who are stressing out and say, “CG lite”.

7) Know that it’s completely hopeless but repeat “Compre phodenge” daily anyway.

8) Most importantly: Keep calm and take lite.